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THE
FAST AND FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS & SHAW
(PG-13)
 1/2
The
Transporters
To
quote its full and somewhat awkwardly assembled
titled, FAST & FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS &
SHAW is the very first spin-off entry in the
seemingly impervious to death franchise that was
arguably born out of a reported clashing of two
massive action hero egos.
Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel apparently
did not like being in each other's presence
while on set of the last F&F film, which
meant that separating the pair and giving the
former his own entry proved inevitable...
Posted
August 17, 2019
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I
AM MOTHER
(No
MPAA Rating)
Never
to part...baby of mine...
The
new Netflix film I AM MOTHER is an atypically
handsome looking and thoughtfully scripted
sci-fi genre effort for the streaming network,
one that refreshingly favors compelling themes
and empowered performances over bombastic action
and VFX overkill.
Based
ever so loosely on the young adult novel THE
SEARCH FOR WONDLA by Tony DiTerlizzi, this Grant
Sputore helmed film represents a solid feature
debut for the Australian director...
Posted
August 17, 2019
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ONCE
UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD
(R)
1/2
And
the industry lived happily ever after
Writer/director
Quentin Tarantino was just a wee young lad in
1969 when he was growing up in the City of
Angels, with both that year and location serving
of prominent importance to his ninth directorial
effort in ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD.
Los
Angeles is, of course, a legendary place deeply
entrenched in moviemaking that, by the
filmmaker's own admission, has indelibly shaped
his life and career.
The film's title hints at not only its
fairy tale trappings...
Posted
August 5, 2019
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CRAWL
(R)
Here
comes the story of the hurricane...
CRAWL
is two movies for the price of one. It's a
monster horror flick about a real life aquatic
creature wreaking havoc on a deeply vulnerable
family and it's also an outdoor survival
drama concerning a dangerous force of Mother
Nature baring down on the same said family.
There's
not much here that really reinvents the genre
wheel, and the Alexandre Aja (PIRANHA 3D)
directed and Sam Raimi/Blumhouse produced effort
plays into the playbook of those aforementioned
types of films without straying too much away
from them...
Posted
August 5, 2019
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THE
INTRUDER (PG-13)
zero
stars
SOMEONE
CALL THE COPS ON THE MAKERS OF THIS FILM!!!
Two
things dawned on me while watching the new home
invasion thriller THE INTRUDER: 1.
Star Dennis Quaid is impossibly ripped for a man
that's five years away from 70. 2. This
movie really sucks. THE
INTRUDER is a double dipping offender:
It's not just an artistically lazy film, but
also a wholeheartedly unnecessary one...
Posted
August 5, 2019
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|
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THE
LION KING
(PG-13)
A
broken circle of life
I covet the
original 1994 LION KING as highly as anybody.
Disney's 32nd and sumptuously 2D animated feature arguably
represented the highest artistic and commercial plateau for the House of
Mouse during that era (it came just four years into the company's new
renaissance and ended up being the highest grossing film of its year and
still remains the biggest money making 2D animated effort in existence)...
Posted
July 28, 2019
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AFTER
(PG-13)
Unhappily
ever after
The
new young adult romance drama AFTER is an adaptation of a novel of the
same name by Anna Todd that's so insipidly scripted that one has to
question how the book version even saw the publishing light of day. It
tells a story of hopeless mediocrity and numbing predictability about a
young "nice girl" college freshman that finds herself falling
for a "bad boy" that has multiple issues...
Posted
July 28, 2019
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STUBER
(R)
RIDE
SHARE: THE MOVIE!
STUBER -
which takes its name as an amalgam of the name of one of its lead
characters and the world famous ride sharing company - is another in an
awfully long line of throwback buddy cop action comedies that feels like
it's made of regurgitated parts from countless other films.
It wallows in a considerable amount of formulas and conventions,
not to mention that its premise, on paper, is pretty silly...
Posted
July 28, 2019
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|
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THE
BEACH BUM
(R)
1/2
Consider
the 'McConaughnaissance' over...
Watching
THE BEACH BUM was akin to being forced to spend
90 straight minutes with an annoyingly
dislikeable goon that simply won't leave you
alone despite all efforts on your part to tell
him to "go away!"
It was one of the most thoroughly
unpleasant filmgoing experiences that I've had
this year, which was made all the more
unpleasant when one considers that there's
sizeable talent in front of and behind the
camera...
Posted
July 20, 2019
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TEEN
SPIRIT
(PG-13)
1/2
Here
we are now...entertain us!
Two thirds of
TEEN SPIRIT work really well.
It contains a winning lead performance as well as stylish and
evocative direction by a rookie director.
The remaining third of the film, though, that regrettably doesn't
work is its screenplay, which wallows in a lot of tired
underdog formulas that we've frankly been exposed to countless times
before...
Posted
July 20, 2019
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SPIDER-MAN:
FAR FROM HOME
(PG-13)
My
"Peter Tingle" is...tingling
The
super hero movie world was shaken to near Snap-
level proportions back in 2015 when Sony and the
Disney owned Marvel Studios hatched out a plan
to allow for Spider-Man to appear in the Marvel
Cinematic Universe on a reported five film loan
(Sony has owned the movie rights to the Stan Lee
and Steve Ditko character for years).
This
culminated with a first appearance in CAPTAIN
AMERICA: CIVIL WAR...
Posted
July 13, 2019
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YESTERDAY
(PG-13)
Still
my guitar gently weeps
YESTERDAY
is a new musical dramatic fantasy that has one
terrific hook: What
if you woke up one day and discovered that The
Beatles never existed. Now,
just let that settle in for a second. Just
imagine the musical landscape of the last
several decades without the work of the Fab
Four. Their
work was not just music, kind of like how STAR
WARS was not just a movie.
If erased from history, the ripple
effects of The Beatles' influence on multiple
generations of musicians would have, in turn,
never existed...
Posted
July 13, 2019
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HIGH
LIFE
(R)
To
infinity...and beyond!
There have been
enough science fiction films that have explored space travel to literally
fill a black hole, which leaves most new entries having to work overtime
to overcome stale genre lethargy. HIGH LIVE falls
into the aforementioned category, but its genius is in how deceptively it
transcends the obligatory accoutrements of these types of space trekking
tales, partially because of its masterfully economic scale, but mostly because
it's the exact polar opposite of what viewers have come to expect from the
genre...
Posted
July 13, 2019
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TOY
STORY 4
(PG)
Once
again, you got a friend in me...
Pixar
has absolutely nothing to prove.
The
pioneering animation studio was solely
responsible for fundamentally altering the
landscape of movies forever with the release of
1995's TOY STORY, which was the very first
animated feature film done entirely with
computers.
Much like what the original STAR WARS did
for visual effects, the John Lasseter directed
TOY STORY opened up a whole new portal into how
animated films could be conceived and created...
Posted
July 4, 2019
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DOMINO
(R)
De
Palma's way
I
fondly recall a time when seeing a Brain De
Palma film reached event status levels
for me. The
stylish and acclaimed auteur made some of the
most memorable films of the 1970s and 1980s in
CARRIE, BLOW OUT, SCARFACE, and THE
UNTOUCHABLES. This led to a bit of a career slowdown in the 90s, and for
every solid effort like CARLITO'S WAY and
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE there were colossal misfires
like THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES...
Posted
July 4, 2019
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MEN
IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL
(PG-13)
1/2
Can
this sequel be neuralized out of existence?
The
somewhat more inclusive minded titled MEN IN
BLACK: INTERNATIONAL is a pretty bland and
creatively lackluster sequel that, last I
checked, not too many people were clamoring for,
especially without the series' lead actors or creative
personnel returning.
It's the fourth film in the science
fiction comedy franchise...
Posted
June 25, 2019
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|
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LATE
NIGHT (R)
1/2
And
heeeeeeeeere's...Mindy!
LATE
NIGHT is an intelligently written, wonderfully
acted, and hilariously insightful workplace
comedy that feels like a most joyous and welcome
antidote to the current summer film season's
witless remakes and wrongheaded sequels.
It's
not only a riotously funny expose on the behind
the scenes mechanizations of a fictitious late
night talk show program, but is also a highly
topical and relevant tale of how race, gender,
and modern feminism figures into a male
dominated profession...
Posted
June 25, 2019
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THE
DEAD DON'T DIE (R)
A
mostly dead on arrival horror comedy
THE
DEAD DON'T DIE is a new zombie themed effort
that felt more like a bizarre and frequently
frustrating to endure curiosity piece than it
did a fully fledged and realized horror comedy. The
fact that it boasts an impressively assembled
and eclectic cast and the idiosyncratic
writer/director Jim Jarmusch at the creative
helm made my enthusiasm going in exceedingly
high...
Posted
June 25, 2019
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DARK
PHOENIX (PG-13)
Not
exactly rising from the series ashes
There's
an unintentionally hilarious - and quite meta -
line of dialogue uttered during DARK PHOENIX,
the twelfth installment in Fox's X-MEN-centric
film franchise and the direct sequel to 2016's
X-MEN: APOCALYPSE.
During
this scene we see former mass human murdering
mutant turned at peace with himself
communal hippie once again turned hostile Erik
"Magneto" Lensherr (Michael Fassbender)
getting fed up with frenemy Professor Charles
Xavier (James McAvoy) and his rhetoric...
Posted
June 15, 2019
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BOOKSMART
(R)
A
near grade A high school comedy
BOOKSMART
doesn't so much transcend and rise above high
school teen comedy formulas as much as it does
tap into its already well worn genre playbook,
albeit with some nifty and fresh new
refinements.
Like
countless other examples that have come before
it, this film delves into a storyline of a
couple of graduating social outcasts desperately
trying to attain one last night of debauchery
and fun with the popular kids that have
previously shunned them...
Posted
June 15, 2019
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ROCKETMAN
(R)
Sing
us a song, you're the piano man!
ROCKETMAN
is a new music biography about select sections
of the life and times of Elton John, the iconic
English singer, songwriter, pianist, and
composer that has sold over a quarter of a
billion records worldwide, making him one of the
best selling artists in history.
It comes coasting in on the coattails, so to speak, of last year's
Oscar nominated BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY, and
comparisons between the these two - albeit very
different - films is inevitable...
Posted
June 15, 2019
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GODZILLA:
KING
OF THE MONSTERS
(R)
1/2
Let
them fight!
GODZILLA:
KING OF THE MONSTERS - the third film in Legendary
Pictures' self anointed
"MonsterVerse" - is pure and unapologetic
creature mayhem and city destruction
pornography.
It
comes off of director Gareth Edwards' underrated
cinematic universe starting installment, and
this new sequel is a bigger, louder, and most
definitely dumber sequel...
Posted
June 6, 2019
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ALADDIN
(PG)
Not
really a whole new world
Contrary
to what many people think, I don’t despise all
Disney remakes of their past animated
properties. I thought PETE’S DRAGON, for
example, was an absolutely stupendous remake and
one of the best family films of its year. And it
legitimately improved and expanded upon its
antecedent.
But
that also wasn’t a remake of a
cherished/iconic classic that was adored by both
critics and audiences...
Posted
June 6, 2019
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STARFISH
(No
MPAA Rating)
1/2
A
girl, an apocalypse, and a world saving mixtape
STARFISH
is an endlessly compelling, ambitious, and
audacious cinematic cocktail: Part scavenger
hunt mystery, part meditation on grief and
mourning, and part avant garde post apocalyptic
sci-fi, all thanklessly held together by
musician turned first time feature film director
A.T. White.
Unlike
so many witless and disposable works of movie
science fiction that exist primarily for visual
effects, mayhem and action, STARFISH is a
different and rarer breed of genre effort...
Posted
June 6, 2019
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BRIGHTBURN
(R)
Faster
than a speeding bullet and more kill happy than
Jason Voorhees...
One
of my favorite comic books growing up was
Marvel's WHAT IF, which featured alternate take
stories exploring various super heroes in its
universe that were decidedly different
from the established continuity.
It just made for juicy reading, and the
comic book covers for these issues were
hypnotically alluring (one of my favorites
involved a Spider-Man arc and featured the title
"What if Uncle Ben had Lived?")...
Posted
June 6, 2019
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JOHN
WICK:
CHAPTER
3 - PARABELLUM
(R)
He
knows gung fu...prepare for war
Third
films in an action franchise have absolutely no
business being as stupendously satisfying and
delivering on all tangible and promised levels
as much as JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM.
One thing dawned on me while watching
this sequel's unrelenting onslaught of
masterfully engineered and executed bedlam: Keanu
Reeves is 54-years-old.
Just...just let that settle in for a minute...
Posted
May 29, 2019
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WHAT
MEN WANT
(R)
1/2
A...better...remake...
than...this?
I'm
not technically against gender swapped remakes
of movies, regardless of genre.
However,
these remakes have to earn their keep and
justify their very existence. The
new romantic comedy WHAT MEN WANT - which is a
very loose remake of the 2000 Mel Gibson and
Helen Hunt starring romcom WHAT WOMEN WANT -
doesn't make for a strong case study in regards
to said pursuits...
Posted
May 29, 2019
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POKEMON:
DETECTIVE PIKACHU
(PG)
Some
mysteries aren't worth solving
To
quote its full title, POKEMON DETECTIVE PIKACHU
isn't a film made for me.
I
don't know much about Pokemon.
I'm not a fan of the Pokemon phenomenon.
I don't try to hunt and/or collect
Pokemon (either virtually or literally).
And maybe I don't simply get Pokemon.
But
I do know that POKEMON DETECTIVE PIKACHU
isn't so much a movie as it is a near two hour
product placement commercial...
Posted
May 20, 2019
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APOLLO
11
(PG)
A
doc for all mankind
There are very
few films these days that legitimately instill in me a childlike sensation
of awe and wonder in their sights and make me feel like I've been
thoroughly transported out of my cinema chair and into the events
transpiring on screen as an active participant. Todd Douglas
Miller's astonishing new documentary, simply titled APOLLO 11, is one of
those decidedly rare breeds of filmgoing experiences...
Posted
May 20, 2019
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DRAGGED
ACROSS CONCRETE
(R)
A
stone cold heist thriller
The thought of
seeing yet another crooked cops thriller really has very little appeal to
me these days, seeing as my time to screen movies is precious, not to
mention that the genre itself has been literally done to death over the
years. But
writer/director S. Craig Zahler's DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE has somewhat
renewed my faith in these types of films, mostly because it favors slow
burn intrigue and character dynamics versus action...
Posted
May 20, 2019
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LONG
SHOT
(R)
The
odd couple road to the White House
I
don't typically ask much of most romcoms. I
honestly don't.
Even
when their plots go down the most predictable of
paths all that I simply require out of them is
to make me care.
These films must give me two characters
that are likeable, relatable, and that I want to
see live on happily ever after just before the
end credits roll by...
Posted
May 15, 2019
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EXTREMELY
WICKED, SHOCKINGLY EVIL AND VILE
(No
MPAA Rating)
Confessions
of a serial killer
EXTREMELY
WICKED, SHOCKINGLY EVIL, AND VILE is an
extremely uneven, shockingly misguided, and dull
biographical crime thriller. It’s a
portrait of Ted Bundy - one of the most
loathsome serial killers of all time - and his
relationship with his then girlfriend before the
law caught up with him and his heinous crimes.
Sadly, this film is never really sure
what it wants to be about...
Posted
May 15, 2019
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AVENGERS:
ENDGAME
(PG-13)
We're
in the fan servicing endgame now, Tony...
I
remember screening the very first IRON MAN film
way, way back in 2008 and, for the
most part, shrugged off the final end credit
scene featuring a surprise cameo by Samuel L.
Jackson's S.H.I.E.L.D. head honcho Nick Fury
talking to Robert Downey Jr.'s metal clad hero
about "the Avengers Initiative."
Contemplating
the massive scope of what was promised here, I
turned to my friend at the time and whispered
into his ear that an AVENGERS film will
"never happen"...
Posted
May 6, 2019
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UNDER
THE SILVER LAKE
(R)
There's
a silver lining to this troubled production
After
the twisted, genre busting greatness of
writer/director David Robert Mitchell's 2014 art
house horror thriller IT FOLLOWS - which I
proudly placed on my list for the Ten Best Films
of that year - I was willing to jump down any
rabbit hole he placed in front of me moving
forward.
With its joyously and nostalgically synthesized
music score, slick direction, and crafty and sly
dissection of teen slasher film troupes, IT
FOLLOWS ushered Mitchell in as a bono fide
talent...
Posted
May 6, 2019
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|
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MISS
BALA (PG-13)
An
AK-47 packing beauty queen
The
new crime thriller MISS BALA is one of those all
too frequent and frustrating filmgoing
experiences because it contains a wonderfully
authentic and textured lead performance that's
mostly betrayed from some extremely spotting
writing and weak handling of its would-be
compelling themes.
The
premise itself - if handled improperly - easily
inspires chuckles...
Posted
May 6 , 2019
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PET
SEMATARY
(R)
1/2
This
gravesite needs a spell check
I
have vague memories of the original 1989 film
adaptation of Stephen King's 1983 PET SEMATARY
horror novel, which places me, I guess, in a
somewhat advantageous place going into its
modern remake of the same name without having
any baggage.
As
to the number of changes and tweaks this Kevin
Kolsch and Denis Widmyer directed version makes
to the source material and the previous film
iteration I cannot say...
Posted
April 27, 2019
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REPLICAS
(R)
Man
playing God...the really dumb version
A few weeks ago I
appeared on live TV and defended Keanu Reeves for being a better actor
than he's often given credit for. I
also went on to explain that when he's given just the right character,
film, and director married to his unique skills then he can be a
commanding and charismatic screen presence (the recent JOHN WICK films
come to mind). However, I did
concede that the Canadian actor has most certainly delivered his fair share of
lousy performances and has appeared in many equally mediocre films over
the years...
Posted
April 27, 2019
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HELLBOY
(R)
1/2
Aw
crap
Back
in 2004 writer/director Guillermo del Toro
introduced movie audiences to the bizarre comic
book universe of HELLBOY, which in turn was born
in comic book form thanks to Mike Mignola.
I
enjoyed that film as a preposterously
imaginative fantasy that was unafraid to go
against the grain of obligatory genre fare of
the era.
That, and del Toro painted the screen
with luscious art direction and then cutting
edge visual effects...
Posted
April 25, 2019
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MISSING
LINK (PG)
1/2
Where
the not so wild things are
The
unendingly delightful and beautifully rendered
MISSING LINK is the latest stop motion animated
effort from Laika, the Oregon based studio that
previously made one of the best films of its
kind in 2016's KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS (which,
incidentally, made my list of the Ten Best Films
of its year).
Their
follow-up effort could not be anymore different
in MISSING LINK...
Posted
April 25, 2019
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|
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SHAZAM!
(PG-13)
1/2
HOLY
MOLEY!!!
How
is it even possible that a comic book character that premiered to readers
just a year after Superman in 1939, sold more comic books during the 1940s
than the Man of Steel, and has been a pretty consistently popular entity
for several decades has never had a lavish big screen live action film all
to his own?...
Posted
April 16, 2019
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|
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A
DOG'S WAY HOME
(PG)
1/2
A
dog with fleas family drama
Full
disclosure: I'm more of a cat man. Sorry,
canine lovers. However, I
don't hate dogs. I like dogs
too. But I hate dumb movies about dogs. Actually, I hate dumb movies about any type of animal. I
just wanted to throw that all out there before I officially review A DOG'S
WAY HOME, just so I don't, as I move forward, come off as some smug feline
lover. Just to be clear,
there have been many movies involving talking animals - in one form or
another - that I've cherished...
Posted
April 16, 2019
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DUMBO
(PG)
Another
Disney remake that rarely soars
It's
utterly ironic that we can essentially thank Tim
Burton for the recent batch of Disney's live
action adaptations of their own cherished
animated classics. The
studio's recent and highly dubious business
practice as of late really began with Burton's
own large scale and lavish live action iteration
of their own ALICE IN WONDERLAND...
Posted
April 8, 2019
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THE
HIGHWAYMEN
(No
MPAA Rating)
On
the hunt for Bonnie and Clyde
When cinephiles
think of the Depression era criminal ways of Clyde Barrow and Bonnie
Parker it's pretty easy to deduce that Arthur Penn's iconic Warren Beatty
and Faye Dunaway starring 1960's film probably comes immediately to their
minds.
That fifty-plus year old classic deserves its legendary status
in the industry, most specifically for how incomparably important it was
for the then New Hollywood culture...
Posted
April 8, 2019
|
|
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THE
HUMMINGBIRD PROJECT
(PG-13)
1/2
The
butterfly Internet effect
THE HUMMINGBIRD
PROJECT is a new techno-thriller that's about a bunch of industrious
conmen that want to secretly install a vast fiber optic cable in the
ground running from Kansas to New York that, if successful, will allow
them a one millisecond advantage on all other investors in stock exchange
transactions, thereby making them rich. Now, maybe the
term techno-thriller could be used sarcastically in describing this
film...
Posted
April 8, 2019
|
|
|
US
(R)
Invasion
of the body double snatchers
I
can't think of a single other filmmaker in
recent memory that has had as much of an
unlikely career transition and meteoric rise in
the industry as Jordan Peele.
He
went from writing and appearing in TV sketch
comedy as part of the two-man group Key and
Peele with Keegan Michael Key and literally
overnight became a member of the directorial
elite with his first feature film behind the
camera in 2017's GET OUT...
Posted
April 5, 2019
|
|
|
FIVE
FEET PART (PG-13)
1/2
Lovers
in a dangerous time
FIVE FEET APART
is the kind of movie that polarized me more than any other that I've recently screened. Parts of me
greatly admired its layered and authentically rendered performances.
Other parts of me loathed this film for how shamefully manipulative
it was in using a particularly awful disease for the purposes of making
a pretty paint-by-numbers and on genre autopilot teen romance drama...
Posted
April 5, 2019
|
|
|
CAPTIVE
STATE (PG-13)
A
sci-fi thriller held hostage by poor world
building
CAPTIVE
STATE is a new freedom fighters battling an
alien invasion and occupation sci-fi
thriller that has an awful lot of compelling
ideas and themes as far as this very overstuffed
genre goes. It's a tremendously ambitious
movie.
But,
gee whiz, it's also messily scripted, ineptly
edited, and, worst of all, quite dull overall,
which makes it especially hard to care about
anyone or anything in the story.
Plus, and this might sound weird, but
CAPTIVE STATE suffers from, well, being a
movie...
Posted
March 31, 2019
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|
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TRIPLE
FRONTIER
(No
MPAA Rating)
One
last score
The
new Netflix original film TRIPLE FRONTIER boasts some serious talent
behind the scenes.
We have screenwriter Mark Boal, who previously penned and produced
ZERO DARK THIRTY as well as winning an Oscar for his script for the Best
Picture awarded THE HURT LOCKER.
Behind the camera for TRIPLE FRONTIER is J.C. Chandor, best known
for one of the best outdoor survival films ever made in 2013's ALL IS LOST...
Posted
March 31, 2019
|
|
|
CAPTAIN
MARVEL
(PG-13)
1/2
I'm
just a girl in the world...
Yes, the fact
that CAPTAIN MARVEL is the Marvel Cinematic Universe's first solo super
hero entry that stars a woman and is co-written and directed by a woman is
definitely something to be celebrated. Having said that,
it's taken the MCU an unforgivably long time - twenty films and over ten
years, as a matter of fact - to release a female driven comic book film,
which means that CAPTAIN MARVEL is in the better late than never
category...
Posted
March 19, 2019
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|
|
FIGHTING
WITH MY FAMILY
(PG-13)
Do
ya smell what Paige is cookin'?
Part
dysfunctional family drama, part underdog overcoming all odds sports
biopic, and part WWE recruitment film, FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY tells the
fact based story - with obvious dramatic embellishment and some blind eye
turning to history - of Saraya-Jade Bevis, an English professional
wrestling personality that would eventually adopt the moniker of
"Paige" and become one of the biggest female stars of the WWE...
Posted
March 19, 2019
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|
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ARCTIC
(R)
1/2
A
most - ahem! - chilling outdoor survival
thriller
There
have been far too many man versus nature outdoor
survival thrillers over the years to seemingly
keep track of, which means that any filmmaker
trying to impart some much needed freshness of
approach in the well worn genre most certainly
has their work cut of for them.
Nevertheless,
I'm a real sucker for these type of films,
especially when they reduce ordinary people down
to their primal essence in a desperate attempt
to stave off thirst, hunger, predators, and
eventually death...
Posted
March 19, 2019
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GRETA
(R)
Not
everyone needs a friend
GRETA
is the kind of psychopathic stalker killer from
hell genre exercise that feels so woefully
telegraphed, antiquated, and paint-by-numbers
that I left my screening pondering why a
filmmaker of Neil Jordan's established pedigree
would ever bother wasting his time making it.
This
is a film essentially made on autopilot,
emulating the very popular aforementioned
sub-genre that became prominent in the 1980s and
1990s...
Posted
March 10, 2019
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HOW
TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON:
THE
HIDDEN WORLD
(PG)
How
to make the perfect trilogy
Dreamworks'
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON franchise has been one
of the sublime surprises of the animated film
world, which began so modestly, yet powerfully
with the 2010 original
that told an epically staged Viking fantasy
storyline featuring an awkward and shy lad
befriending an elusive dragon (mythical beasts
that were sworn enemies of humanity)...
Posted
March 10, 2019
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THE
MAN WHO KILLED HITLER AND THEN THE BIGFOOT
(R)
1/2
Sam
Elliott: Nazi and creature hunter
To
quote its gloriously specific - yet monumentally
spoilerific - title, THE MAN WHO KILLED HITLER
AND THEN THE BIGFOOT is a new action adventure
film steeped in history and more than a bit of
pulpy, comic book inspired intrigue.
Reading that title alone will probably
elicit ample eye rolling in some filmgoers,
seeing as it will probably make them feel that
this is low budget, B-grade fare designed for
midnight showings at grindhouse cinemas...
Posted
March 10, 2019
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ALITA:
BATTLE ANGEL
(PG-13)
1/2
More
human than human
Considering
that he began his career with remarkable modesty
back in the mid-90s making an introductory
feature film that cost a measly $7000, it's a
staggering experience to witness Robert
Rodriguez play within the multi-million dollar
budgeted sandbox that is ALITA: BATTLE ANGEL...
Posted
February 28, 2019
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HAPPY
DEATH DAY 2U
(PG-13)
1/2
Worst.
Day. Again. Ever.
Remember
2017's HAPPY DEATH DAY, the GROUNDHOG DAY
inspired time looping knock-off that was a
surprisingly enjoyable and mostly razor sharp
dissection of teen slasher horror films?
For that matter, do you remember 2017's HAPPY
DEATH DAY, the GROUNDHOG DAY inspired time
looping knock-off that was a surprisingly
enjoyable and mostly razor sharp dissection of
teen slasher horror films...
Posted
February 28, 2019
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THE
LEGO
MOVIE 2:
THE
SECOND PART
(PG)
Everything
is sort of awesome with this sequel
I
had the lowest of low expectations going into
the original THE LEGO MOVIE back in 2014, seeing
as I thought it was another lame and bottom
feeding attempt on Hollywood's part to try to
cash in by make a prominent toy line into a
feature length film.
Rather
improbably - and some would say (ahem!) awesomely
- the Chris Lord and Phil Miller animated
effort was a joyously unexpected cinematic
curveball...
Posted
February 18, 2019
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COLD
PURSUIT
(R)
1/2
Revenge
is a dish best served...
No
beginning of the movie year would ever been
complete without the annual right of passage
known as the Liam Neeson seeks vengeance,
takes names, and kicks ass revenge action
thriller.
It's
become a staple of the veteran sixtysomething
actor's career rejuvenation over the last
decade-plus, which highlighted the former Oskar
Schindler and Michael Collins actor get down and
dirty in some fiendishly enjoyable B-grade
exploitation efforts...
Posted
February 18, 2019
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VELVET
BUZZSAW
(No
MPAA Rating)
1/2
Gilroy's
art world satire/horror thriller isn't quite so
razor sharp
On paper, VELVET
BUZZSAW should have been a grand slam home run. It contains the
writer/director and stars of NIGHTCRAWLER
in Dan Gilroy, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Rene Russo respectively and
features subject matter that's absolutely ripe for nail biting satire: the
world of the uber pretentious and self-aggrandizing contemporary L.A. art
world and criticism...
Posted
February 18, 2019
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HIGH
FLYING BIRD
(No
MPAA Rating)
Soderbergh's
near slam dunk sports drama
One thing that
I'll give Steven Soderbergh is that - at a relatively late time in his
career when most other directors would be too timid to stray too far away
from their own established comfort zones - he's unafraid to push his skill
set and the medium forward in audacious new directions. HIGH FLYING BIRD
is his latest unorthodox effort, streaming now on Netflix and shot once
again utilizing just iPhone 8 cameras...
Posted
February 18, 2019
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THE
KID WHO WOULD BE KING
(PG-13)
1/2
A
kid in King Arthur's court
It's crazy to
consider that it's been nearly a decade since director Joe Cornish made a
film, with his last one being his 2011 breakout cult sci-fi hit ATTACK
THE BLOCK (which also helped launch the career of a pre-STAR
WARS John Boyega). Cornish
now returns to filmmaking duties with THE KID WHO WOULD BE KING, one of
2019's early and splendid surprises.
The film is sort of a wonderful hybrid work with a throwback vibe...
Posted
February 6, 2019
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SERENITY
(R)
There's
nothing alright, alright, alright about
this noir thriller
I don't have the
slightest idea how to review this film.
How would anyone, for that matter.
Let me explain.
SERENITY (not to
be confused with the 2005 Joss Whedon directed sci-fi film of the same name) is a new neo-noir thriller written
and directed by Steven Knight, who previously made the 2014 Tom
Hardy drama LOCKE (which miraculously
contained ample tension and masterful intrigue despite being a one man
movie mostly set in a car)...
Posted
February 6, 2019
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GLASS
(PG-13)
A
glass half full trilogy closer
At this late
stage in the game I think a majority of filmgoers - and critics, for that
matter - should be asking one simple question:
How many more
chances for cinematic redemption should one give writer/director M. Night
Shyamalan?
It's a legitimate
question.
The Indian
filmmaker was once considered to be the next Spielberg, which
feels like forever ago now, and with his career jump starting and multiple
Oscar nominated THE SIXTH SENSE his future certainly looked promising...
Posted
February 6, 2019
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ROMA
(No
MPAA Rating)
Life
itself
What a bold and
miraculous artistic achievement Alfonso Cuaron's ROMA is, shot exquisitely
and with a painterly eye in glorious black and white (he also serves as
his own cinematographer) and chronicling a semi-autobiographical drama
about his own upbringing in Mexico city. The very last
film the Oscar winning director made was the spellbinding GRAVITY,
a science fiction survival thriller set in outer space, and previous to
that he made one of the finest dystopian films ever in CHILDREN
OF MEN...
Posted
January 31, 2019
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IF
BEALE STREET COULD TALK
(R)
"I'll
tell you a story, if I may..."
Writer/director
Barry Jenkins previously made the Academy Award winning Best Picture MOONLIGHT,
a small scale and budgeted, but profoundly moving and beautifully told
drama about the evolution of a homosexual black man's life, told via
multiple time periods and with multiple actors playing said character.
In all fairness, it was a gutsy and outside of the box selection
from the Academy...
Posted
January 31, 2019
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ESCAPE
ROOM (PG-13)
A
puzzle box thriller not worth solving
Ah yes, no
beginning of the year film season would be complete without another entry in
the PWP film genre, or a genre of films containing premises
without payoff. ESCAPE ROOM is a
new psychological horror thriller centered on the concept of, yes,
escape rooms, a physical adventure game in which players have to solve a
series of complicated puzzles and riddles utilizing well hidden clues in
order to escape from a seemingly inescapable room...
Posted
January 25, 2019
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THE
UPSIDE (PG-13)
There's
no downside to this Cranston and Hart pairing
There's not much
of an - ahem! - upside to most movie remakes, seeing as far too many
don't honor the original source material while simultaneously spinning it
into fresh directions for a new audience. THE UPSIDE is the
inevitable American remake of the 2011 French film THE INTOUCHABLES, which
was a huge financial success and critical and audience darling.
That film chronicled the true story of a wealthy and white
quadriplegic and his black ex-con caregiver and ultimate BFF...
Posted
January 25, 2019
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