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CrAiGeR's REVIEW ARCHIVES

All of CrAiGeR's full-length reviews of contemporary films since Jan 2004

CrAiGeR's FOUR STAR REVIEWS

Listing of every FOUR STAR review that CrAiGeR has ever written (excludes retro-reviews)

CrAiGeR's WORST REVIEWS

Listing of every one and a half star or lower review that CrAiGeR has ever written

CrAiGeR's RETROSPECTIVE REVIEW ARCHIVES

CrAiGeR revisits classic films from

the past

CrAiGeR's YEARLY BEST/WORST LISTS

CrAiGeR dishes out his TEN BEST and TEN WORST films for every year since 2000

CrAiGeR's TEN MOST OVER-RATED FILMS OF ALL-TIME

CrAiGeR unleashes his list of ten films that he felt did not deserve universal fan accolades and critical praise.

CrAiGeR's TEN MOST INFLUENTIAL FILMS OF THE LAST 25 YEARS

CrAiGeR ruminates on ten films he feels most directly influenced the business and making of movies since 1986.

CrAiGeR's TEN BEST FILMS of the 2000's

CrAiGeR's TEN BEST FILMS of the 1990's

CrAiGeR's TEN BEST FILMS of the 1980's

CrAiGeR's TEN BEST FILMS of the 1970's

CrAiGeR's TEN BEST FILMS of the 1960's

CrAiGeR's TEN BEST FILMS of the 1950's

CrAiGeR's TEN BEST FILMS of the 1940's

	THE MUMMY (PG-13) A franchise starter that's best left buried Tom Cruise hardly needs defending. He's one of the most dependably and consistently bankable movie stars on the planet and, as far as his peers are concerned, is one of the pre-eminent cinematic showman of his generation. He puts his body and life on the limb for his art in incalculably crazy ways that has to be commended. At a ripe, yet super humanly youthful looking 54-years old... Posted June 17, 2017
	BAYWATCH (R) 1/2 A washed up comedic dead zone I'll start this review with a very simple and beyond obvious question: Was anyone on planet Earth really clamoring for a big budget movie adaptation...of BAYWATCH? I pose this question after just having seen the extremely wrongheaded and pitifully awful CHiPS, another large scale silver screen appropriation of a small screen program. BAYWATCH tries, I think, to be a would-be uproarious send-up of the original 1980's/1990's TV show... Posted June 17, 2017
	A CURE FOR WELLNESS (R) 1/2 A lushly shot mess of a psychological horror thriller Gore Verbinski's A CURE FOR WELLNESS is one of those head scratching films that leaves you with overwhelming feelings that it should be infinitely better than the final product. The film marks a return to the psychological horror genre that the filmmaker once tackled early on in his career with THE RING, not to mention that, visually at least, it's as breathtakingly shot and endlessly sumptuous to look at as anything he's made... Posted June 17, 2017
	WONDER WOMAN (PG-13) A beacon of hope for the DCEU...and comic book movies As a boy I fondly remember growing up and worshipping Richard Donner's SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE and how that film elicited in my young mind equal sensations of limitless awe, wonder, and unbridled joy as a fan of super heroes and comic books. For the first time ever, I marveled at the exploits of the Man of Steel and, despite his extraterrestrial nature and godlike powers, he felt like a relatable average Joe to me. Superman simply felt...real... Posted June 6, 2017
	PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES (PG-13) 1/2 A sequel that's creatively walking the plank The PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN cinematic universe has always maintained a love/hate relationship with many film critics. The first one way, way back in 2013 was infinitely better than any film based on a popular amusement park ride had any business of being. THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL was triumphant in overcoming pre-release negative press and emerging as a genuine original for the swashbuckling pirate genre... Posted June 5, 2017
	WAR MACHINE (No MPAA Rating) 1/2 A war satire with a script that needs liberating The new Netflix Original Film WAR MACHINE - based on the 2012 nonfiction book THE OPERATORS by Michael Hastings - is a semi-fictionalized chronicle of the firing of U.S. Army General Stanley McChrystal, who led a team in Afghanistan back in the late 2000's. Names and details have been changed in the film, but WAR MACHINE is not endeavoring to be a facts oriented docudrama, but rather an ultra black comedy and satire about America's troubled history in the Middle East...and the moral chaos and ethical madness of war and combat in general... Posted June 5, 2017
	ALIEN: COVENANT (R) In space...no one can hear you sigh Ridley Scott's 2012 sci-fi thriller PROMETHEUS - his first behind the camera at the time since 1982's BLADE RUNNER - was released to much audience and critical polarization. The first film in a proposed sort-of-a-prequel, but not-exactly-a-prequel trilogy to Scott's 1979 franchise starter ALIEN, PROMETHEUS did, in my estimation, what great series films - sequel or prequel - should do: Take the established mythology and audaciously take it in fresh new directions... Posted May 27, 2017
	SNATCHED (R) 1/2 Not putting the "fun" in "unrefundable" For all intents and purposes, the new odd couple road comedy SNATCHED should have been a proverbial home run. It stars Amy Schumer, who made a very auspicious cinematic debut starring in and writing Judd Apatow's TRAINWRECK. Her co-star is Hollywood legend Goldie Hawn, coming out of a long retirement since last appearing in 2002's THE BANGER SISTERS. And SNATCHED's director is Jonathan Levine, whom previously helmed a couple terribly underrated comedies in 50/50 and WARM BODIES... Posted May 27, 2017
	KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (PG-13) King Arthur Begins KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD is the seemingly umpteenth retelling of the classic Arthurian legend, only this time heavily amping up on the pure fantastical elements. Directed with enthusiasm - perhaps a bit too much for his own good...more on that later - by Guy Ritchie (whom previously retooled another iconic property in SHERLOCK HOLMES)... Posted May 20, 2017
	THE WALL (R) 1/2 A refreshingly insular look at a larger conflict Not to be confused with THE GREAT WALL from earlier this year, THE WALL is a new American War film that's a frequently masterful exercise in minimalist filmmaking economy. Featuring three actors (one of which appears in voice only off camera) and containing a singular setting throughout its taut and lean 81 minutes, the film is not so much a war film or a commentary on the nature of war, per se, as much as it is a chillingly suspenseful outdoor survival thriller... Posted May 20, 2017
	FIFTY SHADES DARKER (R) 1/2 Someone should permanently cover up this franchise Staring at a blank white wall for two plus hours would have been a more erotic experience than watching FIFTY SHADES DARKER, the second film in the - dear God, help us all - trilogy of films based on the popular literary series by E.L. James (I'm using the term "literary" ever-so-loosely). A follow-up film to 2015's FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, this sequel makes miniscule improvements over its antecedent... Posted May 20, 2017
	GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY: VOL 2 (PG-13) 1/2 Too much volume, not enough substance 2012's GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY had no business being as financially successful - and good, for that matter - as it was, seeing as it was a real creative Hail Mary by Marvel and Disney to take a C-grade and virtually unknown comic book property and somehow make it mainstream. The highly risky gamble paid off handsomely, as the film not only become one of the most cherished in all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but this humble critic coveted it so much that he put it on his list of the Ten Best Films of its year... Posted May 12, 2017
	THE CIRCLE (PG-13) A Big Brother thriller that needs tech support THE CIRCLE is a very dumb movie about some very smart ideas and themes. What makes the experience of watching it all the more frustrating and disappointing is that there's real talent both in front of and behind the camera. Based on the 2013 cautionary tech thriller novel of the same name by David Eggers, this film adaptation is directed by James Ponsoldt, whom previously made one of the of the best coming of age romance dramas of recent memory in the criminally under-seen THE SPECTACULAR NOW... Posted May 12, 2017
	FREE FIRE (R) An antiquated Tarantino knock-off Remember back in the early to mid 1990's when Quentin Tarantino burst onto the movie scene with RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION, which showcased his highly unique amalgam of blood curdling violence and poetically verbose and pop culture riffing criminal degenerates? I know. I do too. Good times... Posted April 30, 2017
	GIFTED (PG-13) A family drama bestowed with richly textured characters GIFTED, at least on paper, certainly sounds like one of those cheaply melodramatic feel-good TV movies of the week. It concerns a brilliant female math prodigy - just 7-years-old - that becomes embroiled in a child custody hearing between her grandmother and her uncle, the latter which has cared for the "gifted" youngling since she was a baby, during which time her mother committed suicide. The overall premise of this film for me going in was a real turn-off... Posted April 30, 2017
	PHOENIX FORGOTTEN (PG-13) A found footage thriller starved of innovation My overall appetite for found footage films has been seriously waning over the years, and very few recent examples (like PROJECT ALMANAC and INTO THE STORM) haven't given me any serious reason to renew my past enthusiasm for this tired and rapidly running out of gas genre. PHOENIX FORGOTTEN is yet another example of the found footage thriller that appropriates most of its aesthetic accouterments... Posted April 30, 2017
	THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS (PG-13) 1/2 A series that's showing signs of stalling Remember way, way back in 2001 when the first FAST AND FURIOUS film was released, well before it improbably spawned seven sequels and grossed $4 billion in global ticket sales? Looking back it's quite amazing to consider that it was, for all intents and purposes, a not-so-subtle POINT BREAK knock-off about the underground world of street racing that involved crooks illegally racing their souped up muscle cars and imports when they weren't stealing DVD players... Posted April 23, 2017
	THE ZOOKEEPER'S WIFE (PG-13) The Holocaust via a different unseen lens As a student of history, I've always found the historical war genre to be right up my alley. In particular, I appreciate films that find a unique viewfinder through which to look at and examine past events that we think have been covered from all possible angles. There have been countless dramas about World War II and the Holocaust, but THE ZOOKEEPER'S WIFE... Posted April 23, 2017
	GOING IN STYLE (PG-13) 1/2 Grumpy old heist men GOING IN STYLE is cinematic comfort food: It's simply prepared, has nostalgic and sentimental value, tastes relatively good and goes down without much fuss. The film has multiple identities - it's a remake, a grumpy old men comedy of errors, and a bank heist film. Most importantly, it's a gathering together of three industry thespian heavyweight titans of the movies in Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Alan Arkin... Posted April 16, 2017
	CHIPS (R) Someone should write the makers a ticket CHIPS is so infuriatingly awful in so many head spinning ways that I grew angrier just thinking about them as I endured its 100 minutes. This is a remake that, as far as I believe, no one really was clamoring for. More specifically, it's a remake of a late 1970's/early 1980's TV series that many filmgoers today arguably haven't watched, let alone heard of... Posted April 16, 2017
	GHOST IN THE SHELL (PG-13) 1/2 A beautiful outer shell of a film that's lacking soul on the inside Confession time: I've never seen the 1995 anime sci-fi film GHOST IN THE SHELL, which in turn was adapted from the manga series of the same name by Masamune Shirow. On a positive, I ventured into the live action adaptation of the anime film with an open mind and infinitely less baggage than those that worshipped the original. There's no denying, though, that GHOST IN THE SHELL's influence on the genre can be felt in innumerable ways... Posted April 7, 2017
	POWER RANGERS (PG-13) 1/2 A reboot that doesn't mightily morph enough This film is not for me. There...I said it. I was bordering on adulthood when the original children's television super hero program MIGHTY MORPHIN' POWER RANGERS hit the air in the early 1990's, which meant that my exposure to it was minimal, to say the least. It inexplicably became a pop culture phenomenon for young viewers of its era, inexplicable because the series, let's face it, was ultra schlocky from a level of its low rent production standards... Posted April 7, 2017
	LIFE (R) It's very cold...in spaaaaaace The new science fiction horror thriller LIFE is a beyond obvious ALIEN knock-off, but it's also an exceedingly well oiled, exemplarily crafted, and reasonably suspenseful ALIEN knockoff that segregates itself far apart from other genre copycats. Director Daniel Espinosa (SAFE HOUSE) and writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (DEADPOOL) are not trying to hide behind the fact that they're appropriating many of the core elements that made Ridley Scott's 1979 film... Posted March 31, 2017
	BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (PG) 1/2 Remakes old as time When I was growing up I always considered Disney as a highly rare breed of movie studio that celebrated and sold its very own unique brand of cinemagic. Lately, though, they've been certainly guilty of abandoning pioneering creativity and have instead opted to lazily mine their very own catalogue of classic and iconic animated films in order to turn them into live action updates... Posted March 31, 2017
	BEFORE I FALL (PG-13) Diary of a time looping mean girl It would be deceptively easy to label BEFORE I FALL as a one note GROUNDHOG DAY rip-off. Based on its premise alone, I can just picture how this young adult drama was pitched to a studio head: "Imagine the classic 1993 Bill Murray day looping comedy morphed with MEAN GIRLS, but done in a vastly more solemn and macabre manner... Posted March 31, 2017
	KONG: SKULL ISLAND (PG-13) 1/2 There's only one king of this island There have been so many cinematic iterations of KING KONG over the last, well, 80-plus years that it's quite easy to lose track of them all. Of course, there was the landmark and pioneering 1933 original (still the best of the bunch), which was subsequently followed by the semi-campy, semi-serious 1976 remake, which in turn was followed up by the visually awe inspiring, but self indulgently long and bloated Peter Jackson helmed iteration from 2005... Posted March 17, 2017
	LOGAN (R) No country for old mutant men LOGAN is apparently the last film outing for the adamantium clawed Canadian anti-hero...at least the version played by Hugh Jackman, who has inhabited the iconic Marvel Comics character on the silver screen for nearly 20 years. If this third WOLVERINE film is indeed the swan song for the Australian actor, then we perhaps could not have asked for a better one... Posted March 11, 2017
	MONSTER TRUCKS (PG) These 4X4s are definitely not diesel powered Well, I'm certainly in no position to label MONSTER TRUCKS as an unoriginal film. There's has most definitely not been another family film about centuries old subterranean water dwelling creatures that are installed in trucks as an alternative power source that I can recall, which does, yes, make MONSTER TRUCKS one of a kind. On a level of chuckle inducing ingenuity, the film has a B-grade premise that's actually quite nifty... Posted March 11, 2017
	GET OUT (R) Meet the parents A friend of mine asked me the other day to describe GET OUT, to which I very specifically replied that it's like GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER morphed with a nightmarish episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE further merged with THE STEPFORD WIVES. Make sense? It's an unforgettably weird horror/thriller/comedy from writer/director Jordan Peele... Posted March 3, 2017
	FIST FIGHT (R) 1/2 I wonder what this movie's about? This film most certainly is not engaging in false advertising of any kind whatsoever. It does indeed feature a fight involving fists (and other objects capable of inflicting pain). On those levels, the very specifically titled FIST FIGHT delivers on its promises... Posted February 26, 2017
	THE GREAT WALL (PG-13) 1/2 Chinese History - LORD OF THE RINGS and Matt Damon-ified I have a history degree, and as far back as I can remember to my university days I learned nothing about giant man-eating iguana creatures attacking the Great Wall of China hundreds of years ago. I even consulted Wikipedia just to be sure...nope. Now, of course I kid, because THE GREAT WALL is not trying to pass itself off as a historical epic about its famous titular structure... Posted February 26, 2017
	JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2 (R) Whoa! "Your descent into hell begins here, Mr. Wick." When Keanu Reeves' unstoppably lethal hitman is told this late in JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2...it feels like both a literal and figurative statement. This is, of course, the sequel to the improbably and surprisingly astounding JOHN WICK, the 2014 introductory installment that emerged as not only one of the most finely attuned action films of the current decade, but also was one of the best films of its year...period... Posted February 21, 2017
	THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (PG) 1/2 The plastic bricked Dark Knight Returns One thing dawned on me while watching - to quote its ultra specific title - THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE. There have been so very few comedic portrayals of DC Comics' most popular and iconic character. With the exception of the joyously campy 1960's TV series, there are not many incarnations of the Caped Crusader that tapped into our collective funny bones... Posted February 21, 2017
	THE SPACE BETWEEN US (PG-13) A sci-fi romance that's lost in space THE SPACE BETWEEN US is a new sci-fi romance that's proof positive that an incredibly nifty premise can utterly implode on itself with shoddy and prosaic scripting that hurtles towards one ludicrous narrative contrivance after another. The film's central arc is stellar, which concerns a teenager that was born and has been raised on Mars when his Earth mother astronaut gave birth to him on the red planet... Posted February 13, 2017
	JACKIE (R) 1/2 A portrait of a famous first lady buried under enigmatic layers The best aspect of JACKIE is that it's not an obligatory biography of one of the most famous First Ladies in American history in Jacqueline Kennedy, the wife of the 35th U.S. President John F. Kennedy. More compellingly, the film is largely about the short period involving her post JFK assassination life from November 22, 1963 and how she desperately tried to cope with not only the loss of her husband... Posted February 13, 2017
	MANCHESTER BY THE SEA (R) 1/2 A sobering story of death, grief, and obligations Kenneth Lonergan's MANCHESTER BY THE SEA is a devastatingly sad, yet darkly comic portrait of working class family grief after dealing with personal tragedy. It's also about a man so broken down by life and his past that he feels very little impetus to meaningfully and intimately latch onto anything in the present. This self-destructive and unhealthily depressed loner has his life upended when his older brother passes away, leaving him to face the challenge of becoming his teenage nephew's new guardian... Posted January 31, 2017
	SPLIT (R) Shyamalan's multiple motives makes for a confused thriller My patience in waiting for a "return to form" for director M. Night Shyamalan has all but eroded. After bursting onto the scene in the late 90's with his multiple Oscar nominated THE SIXTH SENSE and following up that lauded effort with 2000's UNBREAKABLE and 2002's SIGNS I was quite sure that he was going to be the next Steven Spielberg. I really, really did... Posted January 30, 2017
	xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE (PG-13) A long dormant action franchise that should have stayed dormant A few days ago I asked my friend Steve if he wanted to see the sequel to the 2002's Vin Diesel action film xXx, to which he very astutely retorted, "Ummmm...that film already had a sequel...xXx: STATE OF THE UNION...and wasn't that with Ice Cube instead of Diesel?" An awkward silence ensued, and then I fully realized the error of my ways. Yes, there already was a sequel to the first xXx... Posted January 30, 2017
	THE FOUNDER (PG-13) 1/2 The Big Mac of business entrepreneurs I want you to close your eyes and try to remember a time without fast food in the world. It's next to impossible, isn't it? There's a remarkable scene early on it THE FOUNDER that has struggling milkshake maker salesman Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) journeying through California in the early 1950's. He's continuously discouraged at the egregiously slow service and poor food quality that he's been experiencing on the road at many a drive-in dinner... Posted January 30, 2017

Here's my annual blog of the top ten reasons why you all should have rushed out to the cinemas in the year that was.

Posted January 23, 2017

	SILENCE (R) 1/2 Scorsese rounds off his faith trilogy SILENCE has been a long gestating passion project for Martin Scorsese, one that's been in development as far back as the 1990's. It's a thematically complex, visually beautiful, thoughtfully acted, and powerfully dramatic historical epic - based on the 1966 novel of the same name by Shusaku Endo - that concerns Jesuit priests trying to spread the word of God and Christianity to Japan during the early 17th century... Posted January 23, 2017
	A MONSTER CALLS (PG-13) 1/2 The darker BFG film A MONSTER CALLS has been wrongfully advertised as a children's film. It's really a dark fantasy - based on the novel of the same name by Patrick Ness - that just happens to have a child as its main character. Director J.A. Bayona (THE IMPOSSIBLE) doesn't once hide behind this film's macabre subject matter and all of the grim and disheartening realities associated with it... Posted January 23, 2017
	LIVE BY NIGHT (R) Goodfellas of the Roaring Twenties Considering the litany of critical abuse that Ben Affleck receives from trolling Internet fanboys...he really has nothing to prove in the industry. He has won two Academy Awards (one for co-writing GOOD WILL HUNTING and the other for producing the Best Picture winning ARGO) and has emerged as one of the finest actor-turned-directors in recent memory, churning out one memorable and impressive film after another since making his directorial debut a decade ago with the brilliant GONE BABY GONE... Posted January 23, 2017
	UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS (R) 1/2 This franchise needs a stake driven through its heart UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS is the fifth film in the redundantly long standing vampires versus werewolves action horror series that unequivocally proves why a stake should have been driven straight into its heart several entries ago... Posted January 14, 2017

LA LA LAND (PG-13)

A wondrous romantic musical in the City of Angels

Labeling LA LA LAND as just a musical would be woefully simplistic. Yes, it's a musical that's a loving ode to the classic Technicolor musicals of the Golden Age of the genre, to be fair. However, it's also a heartfelt tribute to the movies themselves, young love, the city of Los Angeles, jazz music, and the perseverance and determination of intrepid artistic minds to see their hopes and dreams through to successful fruition when faced with overwhelming odds...

Posted January 7, 2017

FENCES (PG-13)

A brilliantly performed, but flatly directed stage-to-screen adaptation

There are times during Denzel Washington's FENCES when it feels like an unabridged stage play that just happens to be shot with movie cameras. For fans of the 1983 Pulitzer Prize winning play by August Wilson...that's a most welcome thing. If anything, FENCES - Washington's third film as a director after ANTOINE FISHER and THE GREAT DEBATERS - comes positively alive as a treasure trove of performance riches...

Posted January 7, 2017