A film review by Craig J. Koban September 4, 2022

SAMARITAN

2022, PG-13, 99 mins.

Sylvester Stallone as Joe Smith  /  Javon Walton as Sam Cleary  /  Pilou Asbæk as Cyrus /  Dascha Polanco as Tiffany Cleary  /  Moisés Arias as Reza  /  Martin Starr as Albert Casler  /  Jared Odrick as Farshad  /  Michael Aaron Milligan as Tuna

Amazon Prime's new super hero themed thriller SAMARITAN boasts an initially compelling hook: 

What would happen to costume crusaders of justice when they just decide to flat-out retire from their trade?  

Moreover, what happens to these same heroes when called back into the line of duty and at an age when other mere mortals are finishing off their lives in retirement homes?  

This Julius Avery directed and Bragi F. Schut written film has the solid foundations to make for an intriguing take on the comic book film landscape, not to mention that seeing the pushing 80 (!) former Rambo and Rocky star Sylvester Stallone returning to the genre (remember his foray into the enjoyably schlocky JUDGE DREDD in the mid 90s?) has its cool novelty factor as well.  Unfortunately, SAMARITAN's execution is ultimately so bland and its world building so disappointingly undercranked that it fails to generate any lingering staying power.  That, and it mostly fails at trying to be something fresh and novel in a super packed genre that definitely needs some creative inspiration. 

SAMARITAN does offer up a fairly nifty animated opening prologue that quickly and efficiently establishes the particulars of the titular hero and his arch nemesis.  We learn that two superhero brothers existed in Samaritan and Nemesis, who both possessed super human strength and healing abilities and resided in the superbly and aptly named Granite City.  As the story goes, Nemesis began lusting for absolute power and launched an evil campaign of terror on the city while wielding a special mystical hammer (not Mjölnir, folks) that he hoped would give him the edge over his sibling.  The two fought a battle to end all battles, which culminated in a massive explosion that led to everyone in the city believing that both men died instantly...or...did they?  Many a conspiracy theorist - and many a super hero fanboy - simply couldn't believe that either of them could have so easily died considering their immense powers, which led to ongoing speculation for the next twenty five years.  As we zip to the present day we're introduced to a young kid in Sam (Javon Walton), who just can't concede that these "freakishly strong" heroes could have been done in so swiftly.  He makes it his mission to uncover the truth alongside a local author and friend in Albert (Martin Starr, egregiously wasted here) that has written a book that confronts what happed to both super beings back in the day. 

Sam is so taken in with proving Samaritan's survival that he spray paints his symbol all over his neighborhood to convince others to join his cause.  With his overworked single mother Tiffany (Dascha Polanco) not being home enough to look after Sam, the 13-year-old is essentially left to his own devices and frequently gets into trouble with some local hoodlums and criminal power players, with one in particular, Cyrus (Pilou Asbaek), trying to exploit the kid for his own gain.  Very much like in THE KARATE KID, Sam is saved from taking a gang beating by a local elderly garbageman that lives in his building named Joe (Stallone), who dispatches the crooks so swiftly that Sam is convinced that this introverted geezer is in fact Samaritan.  Joe steadfastly pleads with Sam to give up on his beliefs and reassures him that he is not the presumed dead hero, but when Cyrus makes a massive play for city domination after acquiring Nemesis' mask and magic hammer it catches Joe's attention and forces him to reveal himself to Sam as the powerful titan he suspected he was all along.  Joe makes it his mission to stop this new threat to Granite City, but first has to get back into the super hero game and shape, which is tricky considering that he's quite old and rusty and has kept his powers a secret for decades. 

SAMARITAN is decent in its early sections as it chronicles this bound and determined kid's mission to unmask, so to speak, Joe as Samaritan, but Joe proves to be a stubborn nut to crack in this regard.  Sam's mind is so made up about Joe's real identity that he breaks into his apartment and scours it for much needed clues and proof to back up his claims, and after going into detective mode he does get what he wants from a begrudging confession from the aging Joe, who would have much rather lived the quiet retired life in solitude with no friends or families than be ousted by a strange kid that he just met.  These initial sequences of discovery are well handled, especially as Sam is given a crash course on Joe's powers and what amounts to be his Kryptonite.  For example, why does Joe have so much damn ice cream jam packed in his freezer?  It's simple: when he uses his powers (especially healing) to the max it causes him to overheat and his heart rate climbs to dangerous levels.  All Joe has to do is simmer down and scarf down on anything cold - like, yes, ice cream - and he's good.  This leads to an obvious logical question: Did Samaritan - back in the day - have to keep frozen treats in his utility belt just in case he got in trouble? 

I also appreciated that Avery makes commendable efforts to take advantage of Stallone's obvious advancing years and resisted the urge to have him immediately go complete Rambo on multiple bad guys (granted, that's to come....more on that in a bit).  It's been 27 years since a then arguably past his prime (but still insanely cut) Stallone played a comic book character (yes, I haven't forgotten about his voice work as King Shark in THE SUICIDE SQUAD, but I'm talking about the actor in the flesh here, people), so witnessing him return to the genre after such a long absence is a treat, to say the least.  Thankfully, Stallone doesn't fall back on playing Joe with the same level of ultra-serious to the point of coming off campy theatricality that he gave to life with Dredd.  Instead, the actor owns up to his grey hair and bearded hero's age and plays him as both a relatable world weary recluse and a sarcastic curmudgeon.  The grumpy old man as hero gimmick mostly works in SAMARITAN's favor, and Stallone seems to be having fun with the role, even though there are definitely moments in the film when he seems to be monosyllabically phoning in it a bit too much.  Stallone's Joe has a great physical presence despite being an old coot and has a deadpan edge to him, but as a super hero with memorable charisma he's certainly lacking. 

Not helping matters is that Stallone plays opposite of a weakly cobbled together villain in Asbaek's Cyrus, who tries to adopt the guise of Joe's family enemy to decimate his way through Granite City.  The arc of this antagonist is interesting, to be sure, but Asbaek is so dull and uninspired in the frankly underwritten role that viewers will have to constantly remind themselves through the story that - oh, yeah! - this is the bad guy and major threat to the hero.  Also misused, as alluded to earlier, is Starr as the beleaguered author of "Samaritan Lives" that has spent a better part of his life trying to prove his book's title.  When one starts to dissect the script here, it would have been much more enthralling for SAMARITAN to focus on this semi-washed up and laughed at writer being befriended by Joe instead of the latter's relationship with Sam.  Beyond that, it becomes really hard to overlook that this film simply doesn't have the it-factor that it needs to stand well apart from other entries in its genre.  With a marketplace utterly owned by the MCU machine and the gaining traction DCEU, SAMARITAN faces an unenviable position of injecting some innovation into the well planted crop of comic book extravaganzas, and regrettably it offers very little creativity beyond just lazily regurgitating many overused and well worn comic book/action film troupes and passing them off as something novel.  The makers here desperately try to turn things upside down with an eleventh hour plot twist that seems to be the product of a failed, last minute effort to transcend and subvert established super hero conventions.  It's not surprising, though...nor shocking...nor does it feel earned.